[x]

The Road Of Yesterday

These  closed  eyes  have  wept
Over  all  of  the  pain  I've  kept
Knowing  I  will  always  be  far  from  perfect
I  don't  know  why  I  was  abandoned  or  where  my  hope  went

I'm tired, I'm just too tired
A moment of peace is what I now desire
Too long have I searched, too long have I suffered

I'm so ready to collapse
These feel

A Dying Rainbow

A Dying Rainbow

I'm always told that I'm such a wonderful person
And that I'm thoughtful, caring, kindhearted, and so important
But they don't see what's behind closed doors, the constant clashes with torment
Damage goes unseen as I blanket everything with cold smiles that seem slightly burdened

My tears quake while they hide behind my blackened shades
My hands tremble because I'm holding onto so much of this hate
My body is painted nonchalant so I have to appear in an emotionless state
My blood system is clogged with suicidal thoughts that make me want to break

I've been like this far too long
I wish I died before this had begun
S

Remains Of A Flower

Remains Of A Flower

One by one
I love you so

Petal by petal
I want you to know

Second by second
I would never let you go
-
My sick heart clutched the surroundings on the inside
Filled with unseen love that can't make it's way to the outside
Unseen tears bide, along with these strong feelings that I try and hide

My whole body wants to just curl up every time I see you
Concealing the secrets within, I guess there's nothing else I can do
So like a human flower, the emotions I have for you just grew and grew

Never ceasing, never sleeping, never thinking of anything else
I hate this daydreaming, because I always self-consciously dou

Aura: The Radiance

Aura: The Radiance

I wore this pain like a crown / I was so broken
I kept on falling down / I felt my soul shattering

I couldn't hear anything / listening to my own twisted thoughts
I was blinded from everything / witnessing my own tragic downfall

I stopped dreaming of better days / I ceased believing long ago
My countless nightmares wouldn't fade / I was left in this dark world alone

I guess this is how I really pictured my own end
I just want it to finally be over with, I won't resent death

To the end of this long, and lonely road
Dangling on my unfinished rope

Lift me up, lift me up, lift me up, and don't let me go!
Hold me hig

A Loveless Day

A Loveless Day
(That Will Never Fade)

This same old dream that I so loath
A vision of a dull world shrouded in gray

As I walk down a never ending road
The colorlessness in everything never seems to decay

In slow motion I suffer alone
Under the liquid-silver droplets of rain
-
You had no idea how strong my love was
You played a part in the pain that was dealt and done

You didn't experience the ocean of tears that I had to swim through
You didn't see the countless days I had to endure without being around you

You never felt the sickness within the soul that I had kept
You never knew of the quakes in my heart that you ha

Dreaming Of Rage

Dreaming Of Rage

I don't want to give into the maddening thoughts
I don't want to become what I am not

My clenched hands start to bleed
Because I despise falling asleep

Knuckles harden as I delve into unconsciousness
My bad blood boils away the sense of innocence
-
Inner wars are fought / faces yearn to be tarnished
All of my battles are lost / I put every bad memory into my fists

I don't want to know my true self / different sides of the same coin
My reflection is altered by the pain I felt / we both will reach the breaking point
-
The forgotten fury yells to be freed
The hidden hatred screams to be unleashed

The rioting rage

Timeless

Timeless

Seconds to minutes

There's nothing to show for my on-going patience
All I seem to cling onto is this futile existence

I'm slowly succumbing to the dreadful silence
Too long have I been dependent on hopeful emotions
Nothing to lose, and nothing to gain, thus everything is pointless
-
Hours turn into days

I helplessly idle by as life itself starts to decay away
It's just like throwing away the memories of yesterday

Those special moments I held onto, all of the happiness I gave
I thought it was all for something, because it can never be replaced
Though I only have myself to blame, as I continue to let everything be disgrac

No More Therapy

No More Therapy

Nothing works anymore
I knew it all along; the end is near
I've said it once and I've said it before
I was never meant to exist; I was not meant to be here

Hated by all / See me fall
Loved by none / Heart is numb
Rejected by life / Fallen from strife
From this- I've become / After this- I'm done

Through this blame
Is the choice
Of my decision

Hear the pain
In my voice
I am suffering
-
I no longer could drown out the sounds
Swallowed from within
I was surrounded by an internal doubt
Regretting everything

Remember the days
Relive the nights
Of my shame
In my mind

Growing up in society
I got lost
Being raised with hypocrisy

Oceanfall

Oceanfall

One final leap into the depths below is all it really takes
Open my lungs up, and let freezing freedom take my breath away
I did my time here on Earth, I served my time in life
So now I'm done, it's over, I no longer need to be alive
I've seen what cannot be unseen, I've done what I cannot undo
I cannot change the past, and the future is what I cannot live through

Splash

DOWN

Down

down

A watery grave is what I have dreamed of, it's all I have ever really wanted
A slow, and silent decent, it's an honor to finally become one of the departed
My eyes unknowingly darken, as I instantly try to grasp onto the last of the light

Rain Of Darkness

Rain Of Darkness

Something inside me broke
The core of my soul snapped
That is when I felt this numbing cold
I blinked, and everything started to fade to black

When you left me alone
I felt this eternal betrayal
When you finally let me go
The pain inside me became unstable

The weight on my shoulders collapsed
While the world I knew faded
As the remorse relapsed
I'm consumed by hatred
-
Thou have forsaken
So the rest shall witness my conviction

My hope was taken
But was replaced by affliction

You knew what would happen
When you took back your salvation

Why am I the one abandoned?
I didn't take -ANYTHING!- for granted

Rev

I'm So Far Away From Hope

I'm So Far Away From Hope

Society told me the world is black and white
I didn't want to believe it
Because I want something more than a narrow minded life
I need something different

Feeling as if I was truly alone in this world
It's hard to keep believing
Feeling as if I no longer could move forward
It's difficult to keep breathing

I'm stuck between the realms of discrimination and belief
I had to lock away my tears in a prison
For I am the only one who can keep my resolve safe
But I'm such a fragile person
-
I knew I couldn't take any of it / I knew everyone is so swift with judgment
I knew I would fall to the hatred / I knew

ForeverI feel so worthless, without any purpose,
You don't really need me, that's plain to see.
You want me to smile? I will for a while...
But deep inside, I will continue to hide,
This feeling of worthlessness that I just can't address.
When will I feel, really begin to heal?
My fear is never, I'll be like this forever.

The Words I Didn't Mean

The Words I Didn't Mean

While I'm finally seeing you walk away
All I can feel is my fragile heart about to break
Just wishing that I could erase this mistake I have made

I'm slowly getting drenched as these old tears drip down my face
My veins will never forget the love and pain that was shown on this day
And now I will always be haunted by those words I never even wanted to say

The last of your steps echo
Please, please, please come back!
I'm swallowed by my sorrow
No, no, no you j

A Sleepless Night

A Sleepless Night
(That Will Never Alight)

This same old nightmare that I grimly fear
An image of my life haunted by your shadows

I'm frozen in place, waiting for daylight to soon appear
But I don't know if I'm ready to take on another loveless tomorrow

Why am I the one who suffers when you're not even really here?
I should not have to be the one inflicted by your falsely bestowed sorrow
-
You made and broke every one of those promises
You left even though you knew that you'd be greatly missed

You were not the one saying that you're so sorry
You were not the one who was left crying uncontrollably

You didn't feel your heart being

Riptide

Riptide

This one is too important
So don't you dare wake me, please
I need to see it to the end, it's urgent
Because dreams like these mean the world to me

Frantically regretting real life
You should have never opened my eyes

You're a boulder, plunging into a still pond
Once so calm and peaceful
Your disturbing ripples seem to last eons
Now so rapid and unstable

Crashing into paradise
You wrecked it when you arrived

It's like a mystery that was almost solved
But the chance was taken away
It's like a happy memory turned to a loss
Because your presence got in the way

A perfect opportunity slipped
You're the one that ruined it

You're a tw

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A Spark In The Dark

A Spark In The Dark

After I had met you
I found out that hope can be so wounding
Now I know what love can do
As the pieces of my heart are still falling

You made me fade in-and-out of heaven
Allowing me the taste of peace momentarily
And you're right back to testing my withdrawing patience
While I plunge back into the same old hell with this vulnerability

The feeling is too raw
A tug of war between different kinds of torment
I'm missing you so much
A never ending stalemate, the sorrow is infinite

Stay Stay Stay
Don't go, don't leave
Pray Pray Pray
Don't let go of me

....Please

-

But you left me for the last time
I

Martyr:It's Never Too Late

Martyr:It's Never Too Late

You don't have to believe me, but I know
All the different kinds of pain, and processes of sorrow
What it feels like not wanting to wake up to see another tomorrow

I had every attempt planned out
I slammed the tear-stained pen down
I screamed in my head it's either never or now

And I slowly walked out onto the road
Trying to not turn back, because there's no more hope
I left it behind mixed on the paper, the last goodbye letter that I wrote
-
Give me your hate / Hand me your pain

Toss me your blame / Force out your bane
-
I've broken all of my blood oaths
Stacked on top of all the unread notes
The wo

A Dying Rainbow

I'm Falling Down

I'm Falling Down

Pain just seemed to pass me by
Swift as tsunami waves touching the sky

Reality was nothing but a mirror
Melting away like frozen water on fading fire

I closed my sorrowful eyes
As if it was going to be the last time

And sparked images of my past that I don't want to remember
I was deceived every time I was told that it was going to get better
-
Flashes of agony
Infected my mind
And stinging anxiety
Shoots up my spine

Breathe/Breathe/Breathe

While despair wraps around my heart
I want to let it all go
This life was just too hard
I don't want it anymore

Please/Please/Please

There was no way out of this
I so

A Sleepless Night

My Unblind Sins

My Unblind Sins

In the beginning I was emotionally blind
So I always pushed the guilt to the back of my mind
Even though I saw all of my lies with these heartless eyes

I'm the one at fault
For all of the wrong I've done
And I can't live with what my decisions have brought

I'm my own prisoner of these memories
Unforgettable stains of my grief
I'm also the warden, and I can't leave
-
Shackled by my mistakes
Wrapped in a chain of lies
I deserve the past I made
For the future won't be mine

Bound by the pain I gave
Locked in a cage of my conscience
I'm serving my time until the end of days
For this is my own form of self-vengean

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Submitted: March 26, 2012
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Undeceased

by ~HollowfiedLife, Mar 26, 2012, 8:44:59 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Undeceased

It's just a matter of time
Before I leave myself behind

_{I've almost pushed everything away from myself
And soon there will be no more reasons to beg for help
I'm very slowly dissipating, and as this continues on there will be nothing else}

I am just too tired
The ending is all I desire

_{I silently quiver as the waves of life crash against my hollow shell
Striking endlessly, and after living through this I don't even fear the depths of hell
Because being this strong means I've accomplished killing every emotion I've ever felt}

This life of mine shall be undone
My era of hopelessness has begun

_{I could be so more much than this
I do have a purpose but yet I still resist
I yearn to have it all but I don't even wish to exist}

-

So let the day of the rapture come
But leave me be, the lone soul who is numb

_{I contain my own apocalypse in my palms
But I will never release it, I will do no one any harm
For I deserve to let it riot inside, even though I've done nothing wrong}

My veins send out bolts of corruption
I had no choice but to let it finally happen

_{My undying resilience is a gift, but it turned out to be so cruel
Because I've faced everything ever known, I'm a walking, breathing shield
Near invincible, I no longer feel any of the hits, so I long since yearn to be killed}

I stare up at the cross above me
Wishing I knew what it was like to rest in peace

_{I could not bear to live this life
I knew I failed at everything before I even tried
I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to bury myself alive- on the inside}

Undeceasedby ~HollowfiedLife

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I chose to kill myself on the inside.
I needed to blind myself from this life.
________________________________________
Image stock used ~ [link]
Check out

's gallery, it's amazing.
________________________________________
This poem is written for my project that is titled "Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down, I'm Soaring Now"
In volume ten: Ultimatums Unleashed
________________________________________

Check out my galleries if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my work.

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=KalineReine Aug 4, 2012 Professional Writer

One of the best poems I've ever read in my life. I'm not joking. This is amazing!

~HollowfiedLife Aug 6, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

It means a lot whens a person says something like that, so thank you a ton.

=KalineReine Aug 6, 2012 Professional Writer

You're welcome but I was just being honest.

~MissEllaAllanPoe Apr 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

If these words are true to how you feel, I'm sorry and hope that you find consolation from somewhere. It is deeply poetic though.

~HollowfiedLife Apr 4, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

It's altered slightly different from how I feel. I refrain from using "him, her, he, she, his, hers" and such, just so anyone could relate to every piece without gender restricted concepts.

But thank you for your kind words.

~MissEllaAllanPoe Apr 6, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I like your reader consideration, no constraints, etc.

*DeviousDeviantBoi Mar 27, 2012 Student General Artist

"You didn't even want to live your life
You knew you failed at everything before you even tried
You couldn't take it anymore so you chose to bury yourself on the inside"

I know this all too well my friend, if you need anyone I can listen.....

~HollowfiedLife Mar 28, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

It's kind of...difficult to talk about anything. I keep the lid tightly close, because once it's loosened, it's very unbearable.

*DeviousDeviantBoi Apr 4, 2012 Student General Artist

I understand...
Hope all is well in your world....

~SierraPsyche Mar 26, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

This is very beautiful.

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