My Unblind Sins

by ~HollowfiedLife, Aug 3, 2012, 8:57:28 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

My Unblind Sins

In the beginning I was emotionally blind
So I always pushed the guilt to the back of my mind
Even though I saw all of my lies with these heartless eyes

I'm the one at fault
For all of the wrong I've done
And I can't live with what my decisions have brought

I'm my own prisoner of these memories
Unforgettable stains of my grief
I'm also the warden, and I can't leave
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_{Shackled by my mistakes
Wrapped in a chain of lies
I deserve the past I made
For the future won't be mine

Bound by the pain I gave
Locked in a cage of my conscience
I'm serving my time until the end of days
For this is my own form of self-vengeance

Left on the edge of my dreams
Watching life pass me by
I must sacrifice my own greed
Because I can't make all of my wrong's right}
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Though fate seems inescapable
Those who trespass must find it bearable
Because my fear seems to be calm and settled

I don't want to watch myself waste away
But it's still a part of the price that I must pay
For I am the one who made myself turn out this way

To the end I could clearly see
That I was going to die from this destiny
Finally, all of my sins have been turned against me

My Unblind Sinsby ~HollowfiedLife

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

In the beginning
To the end
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This poem is re-written for my compilation project, titled -
"Revelation Days And Resolution Nights" - [link]
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Critique by !misterdetective1996 Aug 3, 2012, 10:42:49 AM

I must say, having looked at this first hand, it is stunning. Firstly, you have used a lovely description of the different emotions going on there. The rhyming is near perfect, effortlessly flowing so it comes out almost in one speech. It would be interesting however, if you could continue these rhymes either in an expanded version of these this, or in a different piece altogether, elaborating in more detail about the reasosn responsible for the pain and the grief that's occuring. This would lead me to have a greater understanding of the emotions that represent so much of this poem.

Overall, this is an outstanding piece