[x]

I'm So Far Away From Hope

Society told me the world is black and white
I didn't want to believe it
Because I want something more than a narrow minded life
I need something different

Feeling as if I was truly alone in this world
It's hard to keep believing
Feeling as if I no longer could move forward
It's difficult to keep breathing

I'm stuck between the realms of discrimination and belief
I had to lock away my tears in a prison
For I am the only one who can keep my resolve safe
But I'm such a fragile person
-
I knew I couldn't take any of it / I knew everyone is so swift with judgment
I knew I would fall to the hatred / I knew

Ashes Of Tomorrow

Ashes Of Tomorrow

I can destroy what I create
If I really, and truly wanted to
I can light these feelings ablaze
If I didn't want anymore support from you

I barely stop myself time and time again
I realize there's a sense of cruelty in all of us
It's just that feeling, everything might be in vain
When tempted at breaking down those barriers of trust

To jeopardize all of the triumphs
I want to be the one who is blamed
The fire will reach the sky, and become my guidance
I want to be swallowed by my own inner, selfish flames
-
I sit behind the scenes of my friendships
Alone, with a fake smile on my face
That old feeling of lonel

A Spark In The Dark

A Spark In The Dark

After I had met you
I found out that hope can be so wounding
Now I know what love can do
As the pieces of my heart are still falling

You made me fade in-and-out of heaven
Allowing me the taste of peace momentarily
And you're right back to testing my withdrawing patience
While I plunge back into the same old hell with this vulnerability

The feeling is too raw
A tug of war between different kinds of torment
I'm missing you so much
A never ending stalemate, the sorrow is infinite

Stay Stay Stay
Don't go, don't leave
Pray Pray Pray
Don't let go of me

....Please

-

But you left me for the last time
I

A Dying Rainbow

A Dying Rainbow

I'm always told that I'm such a wonderful person
And that I'm thoughtful, caring, kindhearted, and so important
But they don't see what's behind closed doors, the constant clashes with torment
Damage goes unseen as I blanket everything with cold smiles that seem slightly burdened

My tears quake while they hide behind my blackened shades
My hands tremble because I'm holding onto so much of this hate
My body is painted nonchalant so I have to appear in an emotionless state
My blood system is clogged with suicidal thoughts that make me want to break

I've been like this far too long
I wish I died before this had begun
S

Behind Hollowed Eyes

Behind Hollowed Eyes

Day after day
I tried continuing on to live this way

With damaged veins made of concrete
I am the undone suicide that was kept a secret

But I can no longer exist
Inside of this pretentious skin

There is a past that I wish I didn't remember
There is a future that just looks too painful

There is nothing you can say or do that'll help
Because there is no turning back now
-
I drag everything down with my endless lies
I smother the remnants of hope until it dies
I win the battles, I win the wars, and I win every fight

I am a maelstrom of deceit
I am a darkness that you cannot defeat
I am the awaiting fate of this pathet

In The Rainfall

In The Rainfall

Pent-up
Overly repressed
Dripping with blame

Thoughts erupt
Pain expressed
Drowning from hate

I felt...
I felt...
I felt your anger

I held...
I held...
I held my pieces together
-
I always wait for the right moment
To finally break down

I need the pain to flow perfect
To let it all out

I'm reaching for my tainted core / I won't let you corrupt me anymore
You will not be a part of me / This is not how it's going to be

I always wait for the oncoming storm
That's the only time

Endure it all until the promised calm
Just to call it mine
-
Set free
Sorrows shattered
I am myself again

Grief released
Clouds scatter
It's gone

Rain Of Darkness

Rain Of Darkness

Something inside me broke
The core of my soul snapped
That is when I felt this numbing cold
I blinked, and everything started to fade to black

When you left me alone
I felt this eternal betrayal
When you finally let me go
The pain inside me became unstable

The weight on my shoulders collapsed
While the world I knew faded
As the remorse relapsed
I'm consumed by hatred
-
Thou have forsaken
So the rest shall witness my conviction

My hope was taken
But was replaced by affliction

You knew what would happen
When you took back your salvation

Why am I the one abandoned?
I didn't take -ANYTHING!- for granted

Rev

The Unseen Life

The Unseen Life

I thought pain was created to fade
But it seems like my life was crafted to break
So I apologize to the mirror and say "I'm sorry, it's too late."
I can't even look at my own face, as I can never accept my mistakes

I realize that I am brokenly made
-
My mind bleeds away the memories I've wasted
Remorse begins to slowly fill in the gaps that are left
This stained razor blade leaves every dark moment perfectly divided
I try not to indulge in act of prayer, because I refuse to ever confess

Even in death I will never rest
-
All visible colors descend into the ground
And time drifts off to sleep
Every sharp outline a

Flawed Salvation

Flawed Salvation

/Liquid fire\
Sorrow melts and reforms
As heat seeps through my skin
/Frozen water\
Reflections of my childhood are torn
As frost settles on me once again
-
Restless echoes ramble on
Retelling me the stories of yesterday
I remember when my courage was withdrawn
"And you left yourself vulnerable to those crimes of hate."

The liquidsparks flicker
And I wince at that one memory
Then my inner voice suddenly stutters
"I don't know h-how you survived such t-treachery."

Snowflakes descend gracefully
As a cold-burning tear rolls down
I will never know real serenity
"Because all I will ever have is my own."
-
/Br

Breaking Out Tonight

Breaking Out Tonight

Your name is despair
And you demand that I live in fear

I gave you everything that you have ever asked
But I never got anything in return for any of that
Although you still managed to continually stab me in the back

Your name is remorse
And you wish for me abide by a damaging oath

Nothing but puppet, as I was used as your scapegoat
Sinister strings guided me to cast aside all forms of hope
We considered each other friends, because you were all I used to know

Your name is sorrow
And you want me to never again see tomorrow

I am your undying sacrifice, the one and only reoccurring offering
Once you had a taste,

Promises Of Today

Promises Of Today

The sands of time can be unpredictable
But to mold them is impossible
And being let down is typical

I, for one, know what it's like
Having that unrelenting doubt dwell inside
And withstanding all of those tears that aren't dried

With that said
I want to help you, my dear friend
For the hope of happiness is within the reach of your hands
-
I need to apologize for not always being there
It's because I have my own slate
But now I'm finally here
I'm sorry I'm late

I've been where you are
I've seen what you've seen
And I was able to break through the dark
But I'll go back for you, just to help you believe

That

A Loveless Day

A Loveless Day
(That Will Never Fade)

This same old dream that I so loath
A vision of a dull world shrouded in gray

As I walk down a never ending road
The colorlessness in everything never seems to decay

In slow motion I suffer alone
Under the liquid-silver droplets of rain
-
You had no idea how strong my love was
You played a part in the pain that was dealt and done

You didn't experience the ocean of tears that I had to swim through
You didn't see the countless days I had to endure without being around you

You never felt the sickness within the soul that I had kept
You never knew of the quakes in my heart that you ha

I'm Falling Down

I'm Falling Down

Pain just seemed to pass me by
Swift as tsunami waves touching the sky

Reality was nothing but a mirror
Melting away like frozen water on fading fire

I closed my sorrowful eyes
As if it was going to be the last time

And sparked images of my past that I don't want to remember
I was deceived every time I was told that it was going to get better
-
Flashes of agony
Infected my mind
And stinging anxiety
Shoots up my spine

Breathe/Breathe/Breathe

While despair wraps around my heart
I want to let it all go
This life was just too hard
I don't want it anymore

Please/Please/Please

There was no way out of this
I so

I'm Almost There

I'm Almost There

Strung out
But sober
Drunk with rage

Broken down
The oppressor
Altered by pain

They say...
They say...
They say the prison is here to save us!

To cage...
To cage...
To cage up the thoughts that are dangerous!
-
Weeping for the hollowed
Can't live through tomorrow

My pride I swallowed
And I put on cold smile

My choice is my own
An addiction to being hurt

I want help, but I don't
I wanna change, but I won't

I have too many dark secrets
Flowing in my veins of concrete

This is what they've done to me
The product I like to call "a perfect tragedy."
-
Blank stare
Too peaceful
Syncing with blame

A mirror
So pitiful
Soon to

My Label/ Hi, My Name Is...Sometimes I think I need to wear a label,
A sticker,
A collar,
A tag…

That will tell you what is wrong with me…

"Hi, My Name Is:
Easily loving, falls to quickly, doesn't know when to stop, tries her best but can't succeed, and only wants to hold someone's hand… to feel that hand on her shoulder when she cries…"

The ink would be smudged across as if written in haste, a couple letters bolded in spots as if trying to fix a mistake…So many mistakes…

The edges would be peeling as if to forget I ever existed all together…
Sometimes, I think I need to wear a warning…

So you will know ahead of time th

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Timeless

Timeless

Seconds to minutes

There's nothing to show for my on-going patience
All I seem to cling onto is this futile existence

I'm slowly succumbing to the dreadful silence
Too long have I been dependent on hopeful emotions
Nothing to lose, and nothing to gain, thus everything is pointless
-
Hours turn into days

I helplessly idle by as life itself starts to decay away
It's just like throwing away the memories of yesterday

Those special moments I held onto, all of the happiness I gave
I thought it was all for something, because it can never be replaced
Though I only have myself to blame, as I continue to let everything be disgrac

The Words I Didn't Mean

The Words I Didn't Mean

While I'm finally seeing you walk away
All I can feel is my fragile heart about to break
Just wishing that I could erase this mistake I have made

I'm slowly getting drenched as these old tears drip down my face
My veins will never forget the love and pain that was shown on this day
And now I will always be haunted by those words I never even wanted to say

The last of your steps echo
Please, please, please come back!
I'm swallowed by my sorrow
No, no, no you j

My Broken Promises

My Broken Promises

I know \ you don't need to remind me anymore
I heard / those heartfelt words many times before

You remember I said I would always be there for you when you needed me
But instead, I just upped and left the both of us, so heartlessly
Knowing very well that you're the most important person, I'm so sorry
Maybe these words of my inner hurt will help you understand clearly

I always thought that my first kiss ever would be with a special someone
But it was taken away from me in a split second, the loss cannot be undone
And I planned to keep my virginity for a little while longer, I wasn't ready yet

Undeceased

Undeceased

It's just a matter of time
Before I leave myself behind

I've almost pushed everything away from myself
And soon there will be no more reasons to beg for help
I'm very slowly dissipating, and as this continues on there will be nothing else

I am just too tired
The ending is all I desire

I silently quiver as the waves of life crash against my hollow shell
Striking endlessly, and after living through this I don't even fear the depths of hell
Because being this strong means I've accomplished killing every emotion I've ever felt

This life of mine shall be undone
My era of hopelessness has begun

I could be so more much than t

Remains Of A Flower

Remains Of A Flower

One by one
I love you so

Petal by petal
I want you to know

Second by second
I would never let you go
-
My sick heart clutched the surroundings on the inside
Filled with unseen love that can't make it's way to the outside
Unseen tears bide, along with these strong feelings that I try and hide

My whole body wants to just curl up every time I see you
Concealing the secrets within, I guess there's nothing else I can do
So like a human flower, the emotions I have for you just grew and grew

Never ceasing, never sleeping, never thinking of anything else
I hate this daydreaming, because I always self-consciously dou

Fallen Into Darkness

Fallen Into Darkness

I'm a dark void, my shadow casts its own shadow
And I'm too much of a coward to even try and turn back
I'm so bleak, because I've managed to create a new breed of sorrow
And I'm such a fool to even attempt to move out and into the blinding black

My mere gaze can darken the brightest tomorrow
That must be why I am destined to remain here forever
My life is unaware that death is what I yearn to give into
That's another reason to sever every bond for the better

I vowed to myself that I wouldn't take you down with me
Your kind strength and light is what I can no longer borrow
I am nothing but a doubled-edged sword,

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Submitted: September 24, 2012
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Era Of Silence

by ~HollowfiedLife, Sep 24, 2012, 5:46:47 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Era Of Silence

Cascading glares swim around my whole body
Searching for some kind of flaw that I might have
But they don't realize that my life is the problem entirely
I can hardly keep on hiding all of the imperfections I secretly grasp

Denial is simple / If you say so
Pretending is impossible / I can't let you know

So I no longer speak for myself
No,   not   anymore
I feel that I deserve this hell
My   pure   torture
-
I'm just too snared by the knives in my back
No one wanted to accept me for who I really was
That's why I had no choice but to put up this wounded act
But I guess that's what the feeling of losing everybody does

Guilt is truly consuming / If you succumb to it
Sympathy is harshly damaging / The infliction is endless

I always put myself last
But   first   to   feel   the   carnage
I let peace slip through my hands
I   hate   being   so   goddamn   selfless
-
I hold my head up high toward the sky
So the tears will eventually drip down into my chest
I refuse to allow the ones who did this see me break down and cry
But they always have their way, so I will give them my very last breath

Fear can be so controlling / I was not brave enough
Hope can be an illusion / I want to just give up

My friendships were so double-edged
But   I   didn't   want   to   be   alone
Abandonment can never be reversed
Because   the   damage   will   be   done
-
I've forgotten what my own voice sounds like
Because it's been so long now that I've done this
I don't know how much longer I can stand this kind of life
My real self must have died somewhere along this era of silence

"................................................................................................................"

Era Of Silenceby ~HollowfiedLife

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

......................................
......................................
___________________________________
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___________________________________
This poem is written for my compilation project, titled-
"Revelation Days And Resolution Nights"
First version: Suffering in Silence
Second version: An Undeserved Silence
Final version: Era Of Silence
__________________________________
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Watch me if you think that you might like my work.

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~Grumpol Sep 24, 2012

Awesome job, you made this totally absorbing, and were able to grab concepts that are displayed in my life also. I look forward to more of your works.

~HollowfiedLife Sep 26, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so much for your kind compliment. I'm just glad you were able to enjoy it.
P.S I release a new one every week! ^_^

~Grumpol Sep 27, 2012

You're welcome, I can't wait to read them!

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