[x]

Era Of Silence

Cascading glares swim around my whole body
Searching for some kind of flaw that I might have
But they don't realize that my life is the problem entirely
I can hardly keep on hiding all of the imperfections I secretly grasp

Denial is simple / If you say so
Pretending is impossible / I can't let you know

So I no longer speak for myself
No, not anymore
I feel that I deserve this hell
My pure torture
-
I'm just too snared by the knives in my back
No one wanted to accept me for who I really was
That's why I had no choice but to put up this wounded act
But I guess that's what the feeling of losing everybody do

I'm Falling Down

I'm Falling Down

Pain just seemed to pass me by
Swift as tsunami waves touching the sky

Reality was nothing but a mirror
Melting away like frozen water on fading fire

I closed my sorrowful eyes
As if it was going to be the last time

And sparked images of my past that I don't want to remember
I was deceived every time I was told that it was going to get better
-
Flashes of agony
Infected my mind
And stinging anxiety
Shoots up my spine

Breathe/Breathe/Breathe

While despair wraps around my heart
I want to let it all go
This life was just too hard
I don't want it anymore

Please/Please/Please

There was no way out of this
I so

No More Therapy

No More Therapy

Nothing works anymore
I knew it all along; the end is near
I've said it once and I've said it before
I was never meant to exist; I was not meant to be here

Hated by all / See me fall
Loved by none / Heart is numb
Rejected by life / Fallen from strife
From this- I've become / After this- I'm done

Through this blame
Is the choice
Of my decision

Hear the pain
In my voice
I am suffering
-
I no longer could drown out the sounds
Swallowed from within
I was surrounded by an internal doubt
Regretting everything

Remember the days
Relive the nights
Of my shame
In my mind

Growing up in society
I got lost
Being raised with hypocrisy

Breaking Out Tonight

Breaking Out Tonight

Your name is despair
And you demand that I live in fear

I gave you everything that you have ever asked
But I never got anything in return for any of that
Although you still managed to continually stab me in the back

Your name is remorse
And you wish for me abide by a damaging oath

Nothing but puppet, as I was used as your scapegoat
Sinister strings guided me to cast aside all forms of hope
We considered each other friends, because you were all I used to know

Your name is sorrow
And you want me to never again see tomorrow

I am your undying sacrifice, the one and only reoccurring offering
Once you had a taste,

I'm So Far Away From Hope

I'm So Far Away From Hope

Society told me the world is black and white
I didn't want to believe it
Because I want something more than a narrow minded life
I need something different

Feeling as if I was truly alone in this world
It's hard to keep believing
Feeling as if I no longer could move forward
It's difficult to keep breathing

I'm stuck between the realms of discrimination and belief
I had to lock away my tears in a prison
For I am the only one who can keep my resolve safe
But I'm such a fragile person
-
I knew I couldn't take any of it / I knew everyone is so swift with judgment
I knew I would fall to the hatred / I knew

A Spark In The Dark

A Spark In The Dark

After I had met you
I found out that hope can be so wounding
Now I know what love can do
As the pieces of my heart are still falling

You made me fade in-and-out of heaven
Allowing me the taste of peace momentarily
And you're right back to testing my withdrawing patience
While I plunge back into the same old hell with this vulnerability

The feeling is too raw
A tug of war between different kinds of torment
I'm missing you so much
A never ending stalemate, the sorrow is infinite

Stay Stay Stay
Don't go, don't leave
Pray Pray Pray
Don't let go of me

....Please

-

But you left me for the last time
I

A Sleepless Night

A Sleepless Night
(That Will Never Alight)

This same old nightmare that I grimly fear
An image of my life haunted by your shadows

I'm frozen in place, waiting for daylight to soon appear
But I don't know if I'm ready to take on another loveless tomorrow

Why am I the one who suffers when you're not even really here?
I should not have to be the one inflicted by your falsely bestowed sorrow
-
You made and broke every one of those promises
You left even though you knew that you'd be greatly missed

You were not the one saying that you're so sorry
You were not the one who was left crying uncontrollably

You didn't feel your heart being

Promises Of Today

Promises Of Today

The sands of time can be unpredictable
But to mold them is impossible
And being let down is typical

I, for one, know what it's like
Having that unrelenting doubt dwell inside
And withstanding all of those tears that aren't dried

With that said
I want to help you, my dear friend
For the hope of happiness is within the reach of your hands
-
I need to apologize for not always being there
It's because I have my own slate
But now I'm finally here
I'm sorry I'm late

I've been where you are
I've seen what you've seen
And I was able to break through the dark
But I'll go back for you, just to help you believe

That

True Despair

True Despair

“How the light has darkened.”
“How the strongest have fallen.”

This cloak remains
Unseen by many

A barrier to hide away
Covering up my damaged sanity

I have to act a certain way
And pretend I still have a sense of humanity

But I know it's too late
So there is no restoring me
-
I am both sword and shield
My bane is myself

My wounds will never heal
I am both heaven and hell

I fear my own reflection / I dread my own aggression
I am your ruination / I am your protection

I keep all destruction within / I keep all sympathy distant
I am your nightmare / I am your savior

The gift of infliction
Tells the story

Martyr:It's Never Too Late

Martyr:It's Never Too Late

You don't have to believe me, but I know
All the different kinds of pain, and processes of sorrow
What it feels like not wanting to wake up to see another tomorrow

I had every attempt planned out
I slammed the tear-stained pen down
I screamed in my head it's either never or now

And I slowly walked out onto the road
Trying to not turn back, because there's no more hope
I left it behind mixed on the paper, the last goodbye letter that I wrote
-
Give me your hate / Hand me your pain

Toss me your blame / Force out your bane
-
I've broken all of my blood oaths
Stacked on top of all the unread notes
The wo

Behind Hollowed Eyes

Behind Hollowed Eyes

Day after day
I tried continuing on to live this way

With damaged veins made of concrete
I am the undone suicide that was kept a secret

But I can no longer exist
Inside of this pretentious skin

There is a past that I wish I didn't remember
There is a future that just looks too painful

There is nothing you can say or do that'll help
Because there is no turning back now
-
I drag everything down with my endless lies
I smother the remnants of hope until it dies
I win the battles, I win the wars, and I win every fight

I am a maelstrom of deceit
I am a darkness that you cannot defeat
I am the awaiting fate of this pathet

Undeceased

Undeceased

It's just a matter of time
Before I leave myself behind

I've almost pushed everything away from myself
And soon there will be no more reasons to beg for help
I'm very slowly dissipating, and as this continues on there will be nothing else

I am just too tired
The ending is all I desire

I silently quiver as the waves of life crash against my hollow shell
Striking endlessly, and after living through this I don't even fear the depths of hell
Because being this strong means I've accomplished killing every emotion I've ever felt

This life of mine shall be undone
My era of hopelessness has begun

I could be so more much than t

Passion

Passion is like a flame,
It's never the same.

It will bring inspiration,
It can bring frustration.
Passion can make you create,
It can irritate.

It can destroy,
It can bring joy.
It can make you feel sad,
It can make you go mad.
It can make you smile,
It will make your time worthwhile.

Passion is what drives us,
It's what makes us work towards success.

The meaning of passion is up to yourself,
Just like my meaning is up to myself.
But remember that your passion helps you realize your dream,
And remember that even if you are working hard, you should ''carpe diem''.

Ashes Of Tomorrow

Ashes Of Tomorrow

I can destroy what I create
If I really, and truly wanted to
I can light these feelings ablaze
If I didn't want anymore support from you

I barely stop myself time and time again
I realize there's a sense of cruelty in all of us
It's just that feeling, everything might be in vain
When tempted at breaking down those barriers of trust

To jeopardize all of the triumphs
I want to be the one who is blamed
The fire will reach the sky, and become my guidance
I want to be swallowed by my own inner, selfish flames
-
I sit behind the scenes of my friendships
Alone, with a fake smile on my face
That old feeling of lonel

Society Has No Say On GayYoung and in love
Over and over
We fall for those we shouldn't
Society thinks they have a say
But our hearts have other plans

Those who don't understand
Try to change us
They think that queer is wrong
That queer is curable

I speak for myself when I say,
I've loved many
But only felt right with a few
And one of them is a woman
And so am I
At least genetically

Gender
Sexuality
They're like water
Fluid

You knock a glass over
The water is displaced
But it is not gone
You can knock us over
We will not disappear

Wrong isn't the word for us
Nor is unnatural
Try something like human
Some cells, tissue
A brain that conta

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More from ~HollowfiedLife

A Spark In The Dark

Martyr:It's Never Too Late

I'm Falling Down

A Sleepless Night

My Unblind Sins

My Unblind Sins

In the beginning I was emotionally blind
So I always pushed the guilt to the back of my mind
Even though I saw all of my lies with these heartless eyes

I'm the one at fault
For all of the wrong I've done
And I can't live with what my decisions have brought

I'm my own prisoner of these memories
Unforgettable stains of my grief
I'm also the warden, and I can't leave
-
Shackled by my mistakes
Wrapped in a chain of lies
I deserve the past I made
For the future won't be mine

Bound by the pain I gave
Locked in a cage of my conscience
I'm serving my time until the end of days
For this is my own form of self-vengean

Rain Of Darkness

Rain Of Darkness

Something inside me broke
The core of my soul snapped
That is when I felt this numbing cold
I blinked, and everything started to fade to black

When you left me alone
I felt this eternal betrayal
When you finally let me go
The pain inside me became unstable

The weight on my shoulders collapsed
While the world I knew faded
As the remorse relapsed
I'm consumed by hatred
-
Thou have forsaken
So the rest shall witness my conviction

My hope was taken
But was replaced by affliction

You knew what would happen
When you took back your salvation

Why am I the one abandoned?
I didn't take -ANYTHING!- for granted

Rev

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A Dying Rainbow

by ~HollowfiedLife, Sep 1, 2012, 12:28:11 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

A Dying Rainbow

I'm always told that I'm such a wonderful person
And that I'm thoughtful, caring, kindhearted, and so important
But they don't see what's behind closed doors, the constant clashes with torment
Damage goes unseen as I blanket everything with cold smiles that seem slightly burdened

My tears quake while they hide behind my blackened shades
My hands tremble because I'm holding onto so much of this hate
My body is painted nonchalant so I have to appear in an emotionless state
My blood system is clogged with suicidal thoughts that make me want to break

I've been like this far too long
I wish I died before this had begun
Surrounded by fear is where I don't belong
I just want this lucid nightmare to be over and done
-
_{Society these days
Teaching children the old prejudice ways
And that's why certain individuals grow up so afraid
In the end, a premature death is the price loved ones pay

I'm one of those
Dwelling in fear at the end of my rope
Trying to conceal agony that no one would ever know
And my grip is slowly getting loose, so I can't wait to let go

It's so hard to try and reach out
No hands to grab, so there's no one to help
Not everyone could understand this kind of hell
Peace is a complete mystery to my pain, and to myself

There is no true hope to oblige
There is no real love to confide
There is no point to this kind of life
There is no such thing as human rights}
-
There's a reason why I showed no signs and gave zero warnings
None of you wouldn't have understood this type of suffering
You don't know what it's like to dread discrimination
All I wanted was to be able to live free in the open

But I'm done trying
Because my only dream won't happen
And I'm so sick of waiting
This life is not worth living

I'm leaving this colorless world behind
These old fashioned teachings are what I can no longer abide by
Because I'd rather be dead and gone a thousand times than be a living lie
So now I bid all of you a farewell, and hope you have wonderful life, good bye

A Dying Rainbowby ~HollowfiedLife

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

What's at the end
Is better than the beginning
_____________________________
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This poem is written for my project - "Broken Wings Unbound: I'm Falling Down, I'm Soaring Now"
In volume Five: Parting Paths
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